Apple iPhone 4 Facetime now for Sexytime; We Love You Long Time

You know I had to bust out Photoshop for this post didn’t you? Well, when Steve Jobs made comments back in April after the iPhone 4.0 OS event, some of them took square aim directly at Android. To be more specific, Android and porn. This all started with some emails back and forth between Steve and Matthew Browning, an Apple customer. Hit the break for the whole funny story.

Specifically Jobs had responded to Mr. Browning regarding some issues with applications and availability:

Matthew Browing, an Apple customer wrote the following to Jobs:

I was converted to Apple products with the announcement of the iPhone 3G. (My friends have been trying to convince me for years.) Since then I’ve purchased 4 iPhones, 2 computers, several routers, and miscellaneous other items. Unfortunately, I’m really starting to have a philosophical issue with your company. It appears that more and more Apple is determining for it’s consumers what content they should be able to receive. For instance, the blocking of Mark Fiore’s comic app (due to being political satire) or blocking of what Apple considers to be porn.

I’m all for keeping porn out of kids hands. Heck – I’m all for ensuring that I don’t have to see it unless I want to. But… that’s what parental controls are for. Put these types of apps into categories and allow them to be blocked by their parents should they want to.

Apple’s role isn’t moral police – Apple’s role is to design and produce really cool gadgets that do what the consumer wants them to do.

Thanks for listening


In response, Jobs replied:

Fiore’s app will be in the store shortly. That was a mistake. However, we do believe we have a moral responsibility to keep porn off the iPhone. Folks who want porn can buy and Android phone.

Ahhh but sometimes certain words came come back and bite you in the butt when you least expect it. Recently Apple introduced Facetime, an video application that let’s iPhone 4 users communicate with video, because the new iPhone 4 has a front facing camera. You can also switch camera views but using the back side camera as well. Little did Jobs think when he made the following comments:

You know, there’s a porn store for Android. You can download nothing but porn. You can download porn, your kids can download porn. That’s a place we don’t want to go – so we’re not going to go there.

Later, Gawker Media’s Ryan Tate asked Jobs about what Bob Dylan would think of the iPad and freedom, Jobs said:

“Yep, freedom from programs that steal your private data. Freedom from programs that trash your battery. Freedom from porn. Yep, freedom. The times they are a changin’, and some traditional PC folks feel like their world is slipping away.”

You see, the problem with being so anti-porn (especially when you make a product as popular as the iPhone) is that someone is going to figure out a way to turn it into a porn business. Guess what? Someone just did. In this new Craigslist ad, Facetime (now dubbed Sexytime by yours truly), the iPhone will become a major new tool offering porn on demand like no other service or app. No need to get out your your laptop or fire up the tower computer, not even your iPad can do this. It’s true, Apple’s iPhone 4 is truly revolutionary, for porn. Some smart person said 2+2=$$$ and decided Sexytime (Apple’s Facetime), is the end all-to-be all mergers of technology, commerce, convenience and you got: live porn! What better way to get sexed up than to bust out your iPhone 4 any time the urge strikes.

iPhone 4 FaceTime Video Sex Line Chat – free iPhone 4 (NYC/LI)
Date: 2010-06-27, 12:06PM EDT
Reply to: [Errors when replying to ads?]
Starting an online interactive pornography firm where woman will use the iphone 4 to video chat with potential customers on a pay as you go basis.
Hours are flexible, pay will increase as the business builds. Woman will receive a free iphone 4 to use as personal time when not working. Woman will talk to potential clients and chat with them and perform various acts as desired by clients. All information will be confidential.
Payment will be based on percentage of sales volume and performance. Potential launch date of the company is 9/1/2010 or based on feedback received.
Woman will receive, as before mentioned, a free cell phone and a very competitive salary.
Please send information and pictures – we would like to launch sooner than 9/1/2010.
* Location: NYC/LI
* Telecommuting is ok.
* This is a part-time job.
* This is a contract job.
* This is at a non-profit organization.
* This is an internship job
* OK for recruiters to contact this job poster.
* Phone calls about this job are ok.
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
PostingID: 1813619670

Even Forbes reported Why iPhone 4’s Facetime Will Never Die; Video Phone Sex. Steve, next time to try to be the pot calling the platform like Android black while try to pretend that your product is clean and safe for everyone, remember that there is someone always one step ahead of you.

The question is, how much are they going to charge? I’m sure we will find out soon enough.

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About Tony P
Connoisseur of all that is Mobile Tech.

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